Grief is an odd thing. It causes your body to be aware of things you never were and be totally oblivious to things that you at one point were so keenly aware of. Last night I couldn't sleep, literally up most of the night yet at 5:15am was wide awake. I thought about it today what in the world was keeping me up, my illness, my thoughts, stress, but I ruled out all of these b/c I had no worse conditions than the night before when I slept, for me, pretty well. Tonight I figured it out. It is April 2nd. I don't need a calendar to be able to tell you that. My heart just knows.
Some who read this blog have never heard the full story of what happened two years ago, I was told by some that telling the story is good and writing it down is good as well. Up until now I never wanted to write everything down but I am at a point where it is still like it was yesterday in my mind but I know it will fade. So here are my memories of that day.
4/2/07 This was the day Mike and I woke up at 4:30am to leave by 5am to beat traffic to Vegas. It was a trip that was planned from the October prior based on a random phone call that offered a deal too good to pass up. My spring break was the only time Mike and I could both go away and not miss work(we'd leave on mon. return on wed Mike would preach Thurs. and Friday for two new Holy week services a great plan in our eyes). It was a Monday morning and we had had a late night with the Gap kids the night before at IN and OUT. Mike had eaten some peppers due to some crazy kids always daring him to do things and so was not feeling very well, so drove. We tiredly packed the car, I was searching for my camera couldn't find it Mike wanted to go b/c we had to stop at the church to get some books and he couldn't find his sunglasses so he thought he left them there, he did but didn't find them that morning. We drove to about the half way mark and grabbed a quick bite traded positions in the car and then arrived in Vegas around 10ish. My friend Dawn was also on spring break but was headed to LA so I called her and she wanted to meet up and show me her house. First Mike wanted to go to the room and settle in, I wanted just to drive to see Dawn knowing that once Mike was in the room he wouldn't want to go. But we checked in and he didn't want to go. It was the Cubs home opener and well we all know what a fan Mike was. So I went solo to see Dawn. A pretty short visit around 2 hours, but I returned to an unhappy Mike. He wanted to watch the game with me and didn't understand why I wanted to see Dawn more than spend time with him, which wasn't the case but I won't go there now. SO we, well I spent the day appologizing for not realizing how much he wanted me to watch that game so I took him to all the places on the strip I thought he would like, ESPN zone, hard rock, m&m store (ok that was for me to find stuff for Dawn's wedding shower) and well we ended up at WIENERSNITZLE or however you spell that hot dog place had lunch and an odd conversation. He wanted to know what Dawn and I had talked about which was her house primarily, but I said she had made an odd statement that she didn't know what the mortgage payment was that Matt handled it, and I thought that was so strange, b/c I wanted to know everything about our mortgage that we had just taken on. This led to talking about pastor Gablers wife who after he died Mike had to help her with her bills and writing checks. He then went into great detail asking me did I know the password to the online banking and explaining that everything was set up there so if anything happened I would not be in the same state. (pertinate conversation looking back) Anyways we spent the rest of the day relaxing and napping, well he napped I walked around. That night was the NCAA Final Four final game so I thought he would want to go out, but we decided that it would be to crazy for us so we bought pepsi and a frozen pizza cooked it in our amazing room (the nicest room I have ever stayed in) and watched the game there. It ended being a really great night just hanging out watching the game and of course all the ESPN highlights and commentary after. But a good day with a rough start.
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