April 6, 2007- after going to my room and getting some much needed pain relief I remember very little. I remember waking up and taking out my contacts that I had worn since Wed but I failed to think that decision all the way through. I had no glasses to put on which meant that all these people who came that morning, well I had no clue who many of them were. Which makes me laugh now. The flood of visitors was open and I have no idea how all of them knew, but they all came from churches all around the south bay and further out. It was overwhelming. I appreciated all the prayers and well wishes, but am sorry that frankly I don't remember most of who was there. That was Friday.
April 6, 2009- today is a completely different day. I got up put on some sunscreen (oil of olay-don't buy it it doesn't work) and went to have breakfast with Whit, and Ed and family. Uncle Bills is always good. I was going to leave to spend time alone but decided spending time with family should be a priority. I am glad I did. Those kids make me smile. I still had my alone time and again God provided a great day with warm sun and sand. I was able to read a book about trusting God. God is not only the creator but He sustains it as well. He is in total control of every detail in our lives. And while these statements are not new to most of you reading this, in the midst of grief they are not too clear. God has a plan and no one can thwart it, not even a car accident. He has a plan and the "big" and the "tiny" events all fit in it. God cares so much about me that He sent His son to die and take all the wrath that I deserve upon him so that I would have eternal life. How can I complain or question His plan when it doesn't fit into my ideal. What He has is so much better and the best part is although I don't know the plan, I do know how it ends, I get to see Him in glory and praise Him for all eternity. So the path to the end maybe full of unknowns and valleys and even some great mountain peaks, but along the way I need to remember that God is to be praised in it all and that everything is under His control and it will work out for my good, I just need to trust.
Tonight just as two years ago I was surrounded by friends and family. Only this time I remember all of them. They are the people who have been the most encouraging and loving to me. They are always there when I need someone to talk to, always there to speak truth into me, and to love me. I am so grateful for them, I'm glad they are a part of God's plan in my life. And although there is still sadness there is also joy. Mike is in Heaven and some day we will get to sing with him again.
So tonight I am celebrating life. The fact that God blessed me with a man who lived life to glorify God and shared that Passion with everyone, and now I have a 2nd chance to live like he did and live to glorify God until He takes me home. Oh what a day that will be, when we've arrived. I can't wait, but I know that while I'm still here I have a job to do and to do it to the glory of God so that men might see the Father through me. I pray that I step out and do this and do it with JOY! for in Christ there is so much JOY even in grief!
2 comments:
thank you for your love and committment to Christ. you really are a blessing to all of us around you.
ps... i wouldn't have been any other place but dinner with y'all! love you!
This was the most inspirational thing I have read in a long time. I feel HOPEFUL just reading it and I needed some hope today. I wish I was one of the people with you that day, and the days after, but you are in my prayers often. Love you!
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