Change

I have typed a few entries since the last one posted however they were more like emotional vents which I don't think anyone reading this really needs/wants to hear. This summer has not been what I envisioned, but that is life. It normally doesn't follow our plan which makes me want to plan disasters and illness so that maybe it will be filled with just the opposite, calm lovely things where all is well but wait that will be in heaven.

This summer has been filled with change. Change is not something I like or do well, but it is the one of the two constants in life. God never changes and well life is always changing. I have found myself back in the emotional state of 2 summers ago, crying a lot and for no apparent reason most days, not sleeping well or sleeping and having no desire to get up, no hair brushing, ask Astrid of my summer fashion these days, eating random things at random times, and questioning God.

I think all of it is normal but not what I thought I would be doing this summer. I have however been able to talk about death a lot this summer with people and find their responses interesting when you are ok with death they look at you like you are crazy. I have been able to serve my mom in a way I never thought I would and have seen just how alike we are. I also have had to watch my dad age and ask questions that asked about Mike which is hard. I know how hard this is going to be and how hard it must be now. I always said that Mike took my brain with him when he left along with so much more of me, how much harder is this going to be for my dad as my mom has done so much for him for 46 years. He will adjust, I know, but my heart aches for him.

I am working on cleaning my parents house out as it will have to be remodeled, and this has been hard. I still haven't gone through all of Mikes stuff so to go through their stuff even though they are not dead is hard b/c you think along the same lines as if they were gone, although you can laugh when you find a memory or ask what they were thinking and why they still have whatever the item is. However it is hard too when my mom says I want you to have my _____ because I still want her to use it and wear it and well I don't want the stuff I want her. and that is hard to tell her.

If I have learned anything in the last 3 years its to enjoy life as a gift from God, and I know all of you reading this have heard me say it. But it is true, God gives us today and doesn't promise tomorrow. It wont help worrying or holding a grudge, it doesn't help anything to argue about small things. People are important, so please make a phone call to someone you haven't talked to in while and let them know you care, smile at the guy in the home depot parking lot you may be the only one he sees all day, smell the flowers, listen to birds, and praise God for all of it. And please share the gospel so all will know and Christ can come! I am ready to go home.

need to learn how to sew!

My sister is planning this huge 40 birthday party, so we decided to go downtown to buy fabric to make decorations and cover tables. Can I just say that I totally need to learn how to sew. So many crazy fabrics. Oh the chair cushions I could make, comforter covers, curtains, pillows..... man I totally want to work for TLC and those home shows just to be able to shop downtown. love the craziness!!!! tomorrow I am totally going to the flower mart!!! (oh we totally bought bright pink sparkly fabric, eat your heart out Leilani)

As for the workouts...
Sunday- Ran from western to crenshaw via palos verdes drive north-slight consistant incline about 4ish miles I think

Monday-totally loved this workout!!
first warm up
then, 8x50M 4= freestyle using only right arm 25m then left only 25M
4=backstroke regular
Ok then the fun part!!!!
100M as fast as you can trying interval was 2min.
300M freestyle med pace interval 7min
100M backstroke-YUK but was the rest portion of this set
Repeat 3 times (if your fast you get to do it 5 glad Im not fast:))

so that equals about a mile of swimming med to fast which felt so good to complete. Esp because I was able to do the 100s faster than I imagined I could!!!! woo hoo perhaps I will swim pier to pier under an hour this year!!!!!

sprinter?

Ok so this morning which is Saturday and you know I must be feeling guilty to get up at 4:40am on a saturday to workout (darn Dodger stadium and the yummy goodness) But today was sprints. I am not a sprinter. We did 4x50M for an hour with a 200M rest between. I am tired but feel great!

latest workouts

Ok so since Resolved I have not been too consist ant with workouts. I ran Sunday at Resolved which was a nice 90 degree run, sweat ed like i was a dude that day, then I ran tues a 6ish prayer run which felt great. Then holiday time I did work up a sweat on Saturday playing smash ball at the beach it helps when two competitive people play and you try to hit it so they have to run for it every time :) then the 4th just a lot of mouth exercise in chewing yummy food, Monday was a casual hike with the O'Roarks second edition.Then Tuesday July 6th (when it was freezing and misting) when the swim workout was all drills, this is where you are working on stroke technique by isolating one part of it- mainly I try to avoid drowning and realize just how bad of a swimmer I am. Then wed and Thursday took off in honor of Leilani's b-day. (truthfully there is no swimming on wed and Thursday I didn't hear the alarm and depression set in I think, but I think it sounds better if celebrating is the reason) So today Fri I was back in the water today again drill work but for those of you who want to improve your stroke here are the drills

kick set first
2X 100 M flutter kick (25 on your right side, 25 on your left side, 25 on your front, 25 on your back)
4X50 breast stroke kick
Fast lanes did this twice through

drill set
I have blocked it out of my mind i think. but we swam butterfly alternating right arm and left arm never using both-drowning!! then backstroke with pinky, thumb, pinky synchronized swimming arms (I was voted best in my lane on this one) then breast stroke arms w/butterfly kick, then catchup free (you wait until you clap hands in front before your next stroke begins.
Seriously I have no idea what the distance was just know wait wait i remember it was 12 X 50M three of each stroke yea I was awake this morning. Seriously though I am not a fan of the drills

Drill set
150M -first 25 butterfly, middle 100 free, last 25 butterfly
100M -first 25 butterfly, middle 50 free, last 25 butterfly
50M- butterfly
150M -first 25 back, middle 100 free, last 25 back
100M -first 25 back, middle 50 free, last 25 back
50M- back
150M -first 25 breast, middle 100 free, last 25 breast
100M -first 25 breast, middle 50 free, last 25 breast
50M- breast
150M -first 25 free fast middle 100 free, last 25 free fast
50M free
Now to put my swimming in perspective the fast lanes repeated this 4 times while my lane did it once! so don't be discouraged just get off the computer and move for an hour 4 times a week and watch how your energy improves:) (I am preaching to myself here) so now to stick to the diet as that accounts for 80% of the change you will see in your body. Helpful hints: limit your carb eating to lunch if you must, eat veggies and protein only for dinner, keep your metabolism up by snacking on fruits and veggies throughout the day and WATER drink lots of it ideally you should drink one ounce for every pound you weigh! or as my coach in college said if you don't pee every hour your not drinking enough.