things Im learning

I have been MIA for a couple weeks now due to emotional unstableness. Over the past month I have stopped doing anything. I stoped excersizing due to being sick at first, then just being lazy, I stoped eating right, agian being lazy and finding comfort in fatty foods, so now I have put back on all the weight I had worked so hard to get rid of and that just makes you more depressed and leads to cookies and french fries anyways....this past week though, decided that I needed to get back up and out of my funky mood, but rather than get up to work out, I opened the Bible. Wow the difference. I am going through Phil. 4 (been here a while, but it is full of great things you should read it!!) All week what I read in the morning I thought about all day and most days needed what I read to make better decisions than what I would have made if I did not have scripture on my mind. Friday I read Phil 4:11 Paul states that he LEARNED to be content. GAP girls I know that we talked about this in 2007 but being content takes constant work. I asked myself "am I really content?" I wasn't sure. Being content is not being happy but am I content even if I am sad? Then I wrote a list of what I am not content with on my "bad days" (I will save you the long list) everything on the list dealt with temporal things that the world values and all of them will pass away soon enough. I should not be content with the amount of time I spend in God's word, prayer, the amount of time I witness, my limited knowledge of the Bible, the fact that I am surrounded by people going to hell yet those things I am content most days to do nothing about. Last week I prayed for a renewed desire to read God's word and this week I have been awake at least 15 minutes before my alarm (which was set a 1/2 hour early anyways to not have any excuses) and I could not go back to sleep despite what time I went to bed (this week I am back to no sleep- but functioning alright) This was just a huge reminder that God does answer prayer. I have not felt that way for a while b/c I have not felt like He has answered my prayers. I found my journal that I started a year ago almost exactly (I don't write in it much) but the same things I was thinking and asking God then I am asking now. In fact the journal entries in it almost mirror the things that are in my Bible reading journal. I went to visit Chris' parents last Feb. and I wrote about being content and listening to a song titled "ENOUGH" my prayer then is the same that I wrote on Friday with the same song quoted agian I want to honestly say that I am content in every circumstance b/c God is enough for me. " All of you is more than enough for all of me for every thirst and every need you satisfy me with your love and all I have in you is more than enough" so next time you hear me complain remind me that God is enough. It doesn't mean I can't be sad but it does mean that in the sadness I look to God for comfort not food, or keeping busy, or meaningless things, but God and reading his word to know Him more and how amazing He is and all the wonderful promises He has given me. He didn't promise an easy life or even a happy one, but He did promise me love, peace, comfort, joy, salvation, and so much more. And if you know Christ (really know Him personally, not just head knowledge) you are promised these things too! Be content!! Paul learned and so can we!