Thursday, June 21, 2012

first day of summer

well today was the first day of summer and my first day of not working.  so I got up made shakes for armando and I and his lunch, then off to run with a friend who is in very good shape, but I need help to get motivated to workout and get back on track, so I swallowed my pride and asked if she would just meet me and we would go she wouldn't have to keep my pace, but she did and I still almost died longest 4 miles ever and of course the last .2 all up hill (if you've run a marathon you know how long the last .2 mile is) after that I went to the doctor who thankfully gave me good news, then I thought I would stop at the dentist office to make an appointment where they took me in but then the power went out so I have to go back, I hate the dentist so this is like torture.  Anyways the rest of the day I promised myself I was going to get all the things that I hate out of the way so that I can relax later, I thought it would be a good plan, but again its torture.  I began to clean my bedroom.  Its not dirty but has boxes and areas that I had stacked of things I didn't want to go through, mainly because Im not sure what to do with it.  Most of it has to do with Mike, pictures in old frames, I know its just stuff but the human mind has an amazing way of connecting memories and feelings and somehow they feel all to real.  What I did not anticipate was finding things from my mom. An old reciept from Lowes that I didn't even remember her buying for me (in the first year after Mike died I didn't want anything from her, I was angry and unforgiving and pridefull-I was on a quest to prove I didn't need her and that I could do this on my own- how wrong I was and I am glad somewhere in that first year God answered my prayer and softened my hear towards her and although she never appologized I forgave her and let down my guard and let her be my mom) I got through most of it, I still have a box of things that well Im not ready to let go of, its closed and put away and I dont even open it, but somehow it comforts me knowing its there and if I want I can touch the stuff (dumb I know).  It was a low day, I guess I knew it would be, but then there was music (I always clean to music 80s and worship- odd combo I know but sometimes the worship on pandora slows down and makes me sad so a little Bangels picks me right up:)) but 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman came on and reminded me yet again that I have so much to sing about.  God doesn't want me to grieve like the world, but rejoice in His amazing love and salvation for me and mike, and mom and the millions of saints gone before me.  The last verse reminds me of mom and what an example she is to me of how to face the end and still bless the Lord and start her never ending singing- her voice was the last thing to go, but until then she would sing not with an amazing voice but from her heart sometimes it wasn't audible just tears running down her face.   Anyways, today is a new day and as the first verse says whatever has passed and whatever lies ahead I want to be singing when the evening comes! and I do have 10,000 things to sing about! What an amazing God I have.


Bless the lord oh my soul 
 Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soulI worship you holy name

The sun comes up Its a new day dawningIts time to sing your song again What ever may pass and whatever lies before meLet me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the lord oh my soulOh my soulWorship his holy nameSing like never before Oh my soulI worshhip your holy name

You're rich in love and you're slow to angerYour name is great and your heart is kind For all your goodness i will keep on singing10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the lord oh my soulOh my soul Worship his holy nameSing like never beforeOh my soul I worship your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failingThe end draws near and my time has comeSoon my soul sing your praise un-ending10,000 years and there forever more

Bless the lord oh my soul Oh my soulWorship his holy nameSing like never beforeOh my soulI worship your holy name



Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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