Copper update

I have an appointment with the doggie cancer doctor on Saturday. I am hoping they can answer my questions and give me a better idea of what is going to happen with Copper. The lumps on his throat have multiply, about every 2 days a new one forms, we are up to 4 tonight. I looked on the internet and in reading about treatment and time lines I will have Copper for about a month more, if that. Which breaks my heart. We got Copper exactly 5 years ago in October. He was so small he fit in my one hand and forearm (if you can imagine). I can remember driving him home hoping I had picked the right puppy for Mike. He was so shy and scared. He would follow Sampson around everywhere, but would always hide under things (chairs, beds, tables, the couch) anywhere he fit, which was almost anywhere. As he grew he still would try to put as much of himself under an object as possible, even as I type he is under the table. Copper is my guard dog. He lets me know when there is real danger (unlike Sam who barks at anything/everything) he is my pest control, but he is also my cuddle friend. He loves to give kisses and lay in my lap, most of all he more than Sam knows when I am sad and will just lay next to me and lick my tears. I am having such a hard time thinking about what it is going to be like without him. He was Mike's fave, I have so many pictures with him sleeping with Copper, Copper is a much better cuddler than I ever was! Mainly I feel like I am going backwards in grief, which is really the last place I want to go, but I don't know how to stop that. I am loosing my kid. So please pray I don't loose my mind over this and that my emotions don't get out of control. I will keep you posted.